Shortly after having my river dream, I had a second dream of peace and light.  In this dream I saw a beautiful blue, classic Cadillac. The color was soothing and at the same time captivating.  As I am told to get in, I slide on to its white leather seats and every single item in that car looks so new and clean.  I look up as I sit in the driver’s seat and see cabinets instead of a windshield. The cabinets are white and I am told to open one of them. When I open it up, I see a variety of fabrics aligned tightly in the cabinets. Each one is made of a different material and color. All the colors are beautiful and shiny. For some reason they each have a white small tag hanging from it. I am then told to choose one.  As I look to all of them and take in their beauty, I begin to decide which one I want. I then wake up and think how soothing that was. I went about my day as usual not thinking of it.

Weeks pass and as my feelings of change become stronger, I begin to analyze what can be coming.  Through the years John and I had conversations about selling our property. We knew it was beautiful and that we loved the privacy of living on acreage but I wanted to live in a community. We wanted what was best for our kids, especially Cati. The school she was zoned for has an amazing principal and Cati had shown the staff that she was capable of high learning expectations. Cati was reading the same grade level books as her peers and was a leader in her class. Although this was great, I wanted more for her.  I wanted a school that understood how to teach a child with Down Syndrome and see her amazing capabilities.  Through our path in life, we learned that not all kids learn the same. Cati was one of those children. As a mother to a differently-abled child, you began to feel exhaustion when you know your child is capable but the tools to follow this path are absent in our public schools. We knew the word “inclusion” was not accepted in all schools and therefore it reflected in the district.   We decided to start looking at other options and therefore knew we had to sell. After a few discussions, I finally convinced John to meet with a few realtors. We had just made our decision when a few weeks later, the change I anticipated came and it permanently broke our hearts.